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Let’s talk about one of the most powerful yet often overlooked forces in communication: reciprocity. We’ve all experienced those conversations where everything just clicks. Both people are fully engaged, sharing, listening, and responding in a way that feels natural and balanced. That seamless connection? That’s reciprocity in action.


Six hands on top of each other on top of a desk
Reciprocity is the pillar to trust-building

When reciprocity is present, it creates a dynamic where emotional give-and-take is happening. You’re not just trading words—you’re sharing emotions, perspectives, and understanding. But when it’s missing, a conversation can feel off-balance. You might feel like you’re doing all the emotional heavy lifting, or worse, that the other person isn’t really connecting with you. It becomes less of a conversation and more of a transaction. And that’s where the potential for real connection is lost.


This leads us to a vital concept: moving from words to trust to strengthen relationships. In fact, strengthening relationships through emotional reciprocity is key to deepening your connections with others. It’s about more than simply repeating or mirroring what someone else says. When you match their tone, energy, and emotion, you create a space where both sides feel truly seen and valued. It’s in that space of mutual vulnerability that real trust starts to take root.


Charles Duhigg, in his book Supercommunicators, takes this idea even further. He emphasizes that effective communication isn’t just about the words we use. It’s about understanding the emotions and intentions behind those words and adapting our responses to meet the needs of the moment. When we go beyond the surface level of communication and engage with the feelings and energy behind the conversation, we don’t just exchange information—we build lasting trust.


So, how can you bring reciprocity into your conversations? Start by paying attention to the flow of energy between you and the person you’re talking to. Are you listening as much as you’re speaking? Are you tuning in to their emotions and responding in a way that shows you understand? By being present and matching their emotional state—whether it’s excitement, frustration, or calm—you’ll start to create a meaningful exchange where both sides feel valued.


Next time you’re in a conversation, ask yourself: Am I matching their energy? Am I giving as much as I’m getting? When you lean into reciprocity, that’s where growth happens. More importantly, that’s where trust starts to bloom. And trust, after all, is the foundation of every strong relationship, whether it’s with a colleague, a friend, or a loved one.


If you’re looking to explore more effective communication techniques, make sure to check out the short course Getting To Dialogue, where we dive deeper into creating meaningful, reciprocal conversations. By embracing emotional reciprocity, you can turn everyday conversations into opportunities for deeper connection, greater understanding, and lasting trust.

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A country highway with mountains in the backdrop
Your Unique Journey as a School Leader

We are all on our unique journey as leaders. Some of us excel in certain skills, while others find ease in different areas of leadership. Whatever the case may be, remember that you are walking your own, unique path, and it’s okay to move at your own pace. Embrace your journey—when you face resistance, lean in and get curious, because that’s where growth happens.


It’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap, especially when scrolling through social media. But remember, the reality behind those perfect images is often far from the truth—and that’s perfectly okay. We’re all on this leadership journey together—imperfect, vulnerable, and full of potential for growth, if we give ourselves the chance. So, embrace your unique journey as a school leader, knowing that your challenges are just stepping stones toward becoming even stronger.


As a leader, one of your greatest opportunities is to recognize where you need support and to seek the resources that will help you thrive. Whether it’s refining your leadership style, navigating tough conversations, or enhancing school culture, the right support system can make all the difference. That’s why I’m here. My mission has always been to provide the guidance and training that empower you to lead with confidence and purpose.


If you’re looking for a more personalized approach, you might want to explore the private coaching bundles I offer. They’re designed to meet you where you are, helping you sharpen your leadership skills and overcome the unique challenges you face.


So, as you continue along your leadership journey, remember to embrace it fully. There will be bumps in the road, but those are just opportunities in disguise. Lean into the resistance, ask questions, and always seek the support you need. I’m here to walk alongside you, whether it’s through coaching, training, or simply offering encouragement.


Let’s keep growing together. I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us.

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Trust sign with a light bulb
Trust

As a principal, you play a crucial role in shaping the culture and climate of your school. Trust between you and your teachers is a foundational element in creating a positive and productive work environment. But how do you know if your teachers trust you? More importantly, how can you foster and maintain that trust?


Signs of Trust—or the Lack of It


One of the first indicators of trust is communication. Do your teachers feel comfortable coming to you with their concerns, ideas, or feedback? When trust is present, open and honest communication flows naturally. Teachers will approach you not only with problems but also with innovative solutions, feeling confident that their voices are valued.


Another sign is engagement. Trustworthy relationships inspire enthusiasm and commitment. If your teachers are actively involved in school initiatives, professional development, and collaborative projects, it’s a good sign they trust your leadership. On the other hand, if you notice a lack of participation or a sense of detachment, it might be time to reflect on the underlying causes.


Building and Maintaining Trust


Building trust isn’t a one-time effort; it’s an ongoing process. It starts with consistency—doing what you say you will do, being fair in your decisions, and showing genuine concern for your staff’s well-being. Transparency is also key. When teachers understand the reasons behind decisions, even difficult ones, they are more likely to feel included and trusted.


Moreover, empathy cannot be overstated. Teachers need to know that their leader understands and appreciates their challenges. This means being approachable, listening actively, and responding with compassion. A small gesture of support can go a long way in solidifying trust.


Self-Reflection as a Leader


Take a moment to reflect on your leadership practices. Are there areas where you could improve in fostering trust? Do you need to be more transparent, consistent, or empathetic? Remember, trust is a two-way street. As much as you need your teachers to trust you, they need to know that you trust them.


Call to Action: Strengthening Staff Morale


If you’re looking to enhance trust and avoid potential trust issues within your team, consider integrating activities that boost staff morale.“150 Well-Being Activities to Enhance Staff Morale” is a great resource to help you create a positive environment where trust can flourish. These activities are designed to build stronger relationships, improve communication, and ultimately, enhance the overall school climate.


Explore these activities today and take the next step in building a more trusting, engaged, and vibrant school community. Also, make sure to tag me on Instagram or in the new First-Year Principal Support Squad FB Group with a photo of one of these great activities so we can celebrate your efforts!

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