Are You Respecting Your Staff's Downtime?

Respecting Your Staff's Downtime

I recently coached a new principal who was eager to make a strong impression on her staff. As we discussed her challenges, a pattern emerged—she was frequently overworking her team by texting them in the evenings and on weekends, unable to fully detach from work. Her drive to succeed in her first year was so intense that she didn’t realize she was inadvertently poisoning the well. Despite having an incredible staff, always willing to give 100%, her actions were setting them up for burnout—the very people she needed most on her side.

​As leaders, we often emphasize the importance of productivity, but do we equally respect the value of rest? Boundaries around downtime are essential, not just for personal well-being but also for sustaining high performance in the workplace.

​Are you encouraging your team to disconnect and recharge, or are the demands of the job creeping into their personal time? It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking more hours equal more results. But in truth, when we don’t respect boundaries, we contribute to burnout, reduced creativity, and lower morale. Everyone needs to create space in their life to recharge and refuel.

Respecting your staff’s downtime is about more than work-life balance—it's about fostering a culture where rest is valued as much as hard work. It’s about respecting your team’s personal time and acknowledging that that life does not start and end with work.

​So ask yourself: Am I modeling the behavior I expect from my team? Do I schedule emails for the next day and avoid texting in the evening and on weekends? When leaders set clear, healthy boundaries, they empower staff to do the same, leading to a more energized and motivated workforce.

If this resonates with you, and you know someone who needs to read this blog, send it their way!

Also...

Book Club Invite

Last week, I launched our book club, where we're diving into The First-Year Principal: 52 Practical Lessons to Help New Principals Thrive as Conscious Leaders! It’s completely FREE, and we already have participants worldwide—how exciting that the book has gone global! Want to learn more? Check it out HERE​

Private FB Community - The First-Year Principal Support Squad

Our community is growing every day, and we’d love for you to join us! Last night, I hosted a Facebook Live where I broke down a case study. It’s a fantastic way to connect with other like-minded leaders, so join us today by clicking this LINK.

1:1 Coaching

I’ve recently revamped my coaching packages if you're looking for personalized support. Sometimes all you need is that extra push to get unstuck. Learn more HERE.

That's all for now!

Until next time,

Here's to your growth!

Daphne

Navigating Difficult Conversations: 10 Sentence Stems to Help Principals Foster Productive Dialogue

Leadership isn't about avoiding hard conversations—it's about embracing them with empathy, clarity, and purpose. Whether you're addressing performance concerns, managing conflicts, or providing constructive feedback, initiating these conversations can feel uncomfortable. Yet, these moments often lead to the most significant breakthroughs, both for you and your team. 

Getting to Dialogue

Through the lens of conscious leadership, difficult conversations become more than just challenges to overcome; they are opportunities for connection and growth. As leaders, we co-create the circumstances we experience—our approach, mindset, and tone all influence the outcomes of the conversations we engage in. Every challenge we face is a portal for optimal growth, offering a chance to evolve, both personally and as a team. When we approach difficult conversations with awareness and intention, we transform them from uncomfortable moments into powerful opportunities to strengthen relationships, build trust, and foster collaboration.

The way you start a conversation can set the tone for its success. By opening with respect and curiosity, you can defuse tension and encourage open dialogue. Here are 10 sentence stems to help principals foster productive dialogue:

1. "I want to have an open and honest conversation with you about..."

2. "I’ve noticed something that I think we should address, and I’d like to get your perspective on..."

3. "Let’s talk about something that might be uncomfortable but is important for our growth as a team..."

4. "I respect your work, and because of that, I think it’s important to discuss..."

5. "I understand this might be difficult to hear, but my goal is to work through this together..."

6. "I’d like to address a concern that’s been on my mind and hear your thoughts on it..."

7. "This conversation might be tough, but I believe it’s necessary for us to move forward..."

8. "I think we need to talk about what’s been happening regarding..."

9. "My intention in bringing this up is to find a solution that works for both of us..."

10. "I want to ensure we’re both on the same page, so let’s talk about..."

These sentence stems aren’t just conversation starters; they’re doorways to deeper understanding. When approached from a conscious mindset, tough conversations shift from being transactional to transformational. You’re not just addressing issues—you’re building trust, fostering collaboration, and creating a culture where open communication thrives.

If you’re ready to take a deeper dive, check out my new course, Getting To Dialogue, available in the First-Year Principal Digital Course Suite for on-demand access!

From Words to Trust: Strengthening Relationships Through Emotional Reciprocity

Let’s talk about one of the most powerful yet often overlooked forces in communication: reciprocity. We’ve all experienced those conversations where everything just clicks. Both people are fully engaged, sharing, listening, and responding in a way that feels natural and balanced. That seamless connection? That’s reciprocity in action.

Reciprocity is the pillar to trust-building

When reciprocity is present, it creates a dynamic where emotional give-and-take is happening. You’re not just trading words—you’re sharing emotions, perspectives, and understanding. But when it’s missing, a conversation can feel off-balance. You might feel like you’re doing all the emotional heavy lifting, or worse, that the other person isn’t really connecting with you. It becomes less of a conversation and more of a transaction. And that’s where the potential for real connection is lost.

This leads us to a vital concept: moving from words to trust to strengthen relationships. In fact, strengthening relationships through emotional reciprocity is key to deepening your connections with others. It’s about more than simply repeating or mirroring what someone else says. When you match their tone, energy, and emotion, you create a space where both sides feel truly seen and valued. It’s in that space of mutual vulnerability that real trust starts to take root.

Charles Duhigg, in his book Supercommunicators, takes this idea even further. He emphasizes that effective communication isn’t just about the words we use. It’s about understanding the emotions and intentions behind those words and adapting our responses to meet the needs of the moment. When we go beyond the surface level of communication and engage with the feelings and energy behind the conversation, we don’t just exchange information—we build lasting trust.

So, how can you bring reciprocity into your conversations? Start by paying attention to the flow of energy between you and the person you’re talking to. Are you listening as much as you’re speaking? Are you tuning in to their emotions and responding in a way that shows you understand? By being present and matching their emotional state—whether it’s excitement, frustration, or calm—you’ll start to create a meaningful exchange where both sides feel valued.

Next time you’re in a conversation, ask yourself: Am I matching their energy? Am I giving as much as I’m getting? When you lean into reciprocity, that’s where growth happens. More importantly, that’s where trust starts to bloom. And trust, after all, is the foundation of every strong relationship, whether it’s with a colleague, a friend, or a loved one.

If you’re looking to explore more effective communication techniques, make sure to check out the short course Getting To Dialogue, where we dive deeper into creating meaningful, reciprocal conversations. By embracing emotional reciprocity, you can turn everyday conversations into opportunities for deeper connection, greater understanding, and lasting trust.